Avoid obvious details. They get in the way of your message.
As writers, we have a tendency to state the obvious. This is especially true when we’re trying to write an “impressive sentence.”
“Impressive sentences” are sentences designed to sound flowery or important. Avoid them. Please. Leave these flamboyant messes to college freshmen trying to fulfill their word length requirement.
By eliminating obvious words, you’re able to tell your reader exactly what you mean. For example, consider this sentence:
The white dress she wore was so light it washed her out and made her look like a ghost.
That’s a whole lot of alliteration, but is it necessary? Maybe. You’ll have to make that call. But I imagine what the author is really trying to say is, “The white dress she wore made her look like a ghost.”
Unfortunately, all the fancy descriptions just clutter up the intended message.
Use the delete button and cut out those obvious words.